Page 98 - AAGLA-MAY 2022

Featured Story
The Stresses of Any Rental Relationship
ABy John F. Tholen, PhD, Retired Psychologist
lthough rental units usually prove a sound investment, ownership can also bring a seemingly never-ending stream of headaches and worries. Legislators seem to be forever proposing legislation to control rents or make it more difficult to evict problem renters. Vendor and
insurance charges spiral upward. Laundry services are always seeking a more favorable deal. Tenants are always finding new complaints. The performance of managers is often disappointing. And then there are the added burdens created by a pandemic, an ever-rising homelessness crisis, and increasing crime rates.
Although we do what we can to address these problems, they can never be completely resolved and can cause a great deal of pointless distress. Thoughts that cause distress without inspiring constructive action are dysfunctional. They harm us without any compensating benefit. Although it seems that our emotions and motivations result directly from the events and circumstances we encounter, they are instead reactions to our self-talk—the internal monologue that streams through our waking consciousness, interpreting whatever we experience and establishing our perspective on both ourselves and the world around us.
A complex interaction between our inherited biology and our early life experience—neither of which is under our control—determines which thoughts automatically come into our minds. When our spontaneous thoughts are dysfunctional and allowed to linger in the spotlight of our attention, we become distressed and inhibited— even though such ideas are almost always incomplete, unreasonable, or completely wrong. We can improve both our outcomes in life and our state of mind by learning to identify—and systematically shift our attention to—more balanced and reasonable (functional) alternative thoughts more likely to reassure, inspire hope, or motivate self-
98 MAY 2022 • WWW.AAGLA.ORG
assertion. This is focused positivity strategy:
• Becoming mindful of our thoughts by examining the ideas that occupy our minds when we are upset,
• Identifying dysfunctional thoughts that have become the focus of our attention and disrupted our peace of mind,
• Constructing more reasonable, balanced, and functional alternatives more likely to inspire hope, and
• Systematically refocusing our attention away from the dysfunctional thoughts and toward the functional alternatives.
We respond best to any challenge in life by employing the closest thing we have to a “superpower,” our ability at any moment to shift the focus of our attention to a more functional thought. When distressed by a worry about our rental units that has persisted despite our best attempts to solve the problem, we are likely to benefit from reviewing functional thoughts such as:
• The upsides of rental ownership—ongoing appreciation, a growing population of prospective tenants, tax advantages, etc.—make apartment ownership worthwhile despite the problems that can arise.
• No matter what legislation might be proposed, too many powerful interests depend on rental ownership for any law to be passed that would make it unprofitable.
• I’ll be able to find new ways to address any problem that might arise—steps such as changing vendors,